It's not such a bad thing to be lost, because it is only then that we can be found ~ Anonymous
A woman at the support group I've been going to said this about a month ago, and it struck me as particularly beautiful. Who wants to be lost? I certainly didn't. It's scary, lonely, and makes you feel vulnerable. Last year a number of unfortunate situations in my life and the flare up of the chronic illness that I live with converged, creating the perfect storm. I was lost. I didn't think I would ever find my way home again.
But sometimes we find that there are forces at work that are greater, more powerful, than our own problems and concerns. It is this force that has rescued me, swept me up in a powerful wave, and set my feet firmly upon the shore again. And I find myself up to my eyeballs in the work of becoming found again.
It's rough terrain. It's exhausting. I fall down a lot. I want to give up. But I won't. Last week I left the support group I've been going to since September. Tomorrow I'm beginning an intensive 18 week Day Program at the hospital which is like having a full time job. It runs Monday to Thursday 9 am to 4 pm and Friday for an hour. I'm nervous, but ready. If I've learned anything at the support group I've been going to it's that diving straight in and dealing with the uncomfortable work that has to be done is much easier that spending so much energy avoiding the issues! This is true. There is relief in surrender.
On to mini matters! I have at least 3 blog posts on mini matters that are itching to be written, but this blog post was screaming louder that it needed to be written. Does anybody else ever have blog posts (or writing of any kind, or art) that just WON'T leave you alone until you attend to them? It's happening to me more and more.
Love and Hugs to all my Beautiful Friends in Blog Land,
Ruth
Sounds like life is happening to you. Hang in there even though we know we wont get out of it alive. :-) Go to my blog and look for the post of I'm baaack. You will see a struggle I had recently.
ReplyDeleteWill do grandmommy! Life has a way of happening doesn't it? :P
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Ruth
I think writing is some of the best therapy. Thank you for sharing as I can relate to your struggles. I have chronic health issues and other troubles that creep up every so often. It's no fun...but you will get through it. You are in my thoughts & I wish you well on your therapy journey.
ReplyDeleteBig Mini Hugs my friend,
Lisa
Thanks Lisa! I'll send you a private message :P
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Ruth
Now that's the spirit, no surrender! You go, girl!
ReplyDeletehugs,
Gee
I think that when we have a chronic illness we forget how strong, and brave we are. I am strong! But I didn't feel that way for years, I just felt less than. Comparisons are odious and a road I try not to go down, but I'm human, after all.
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Ruth
Great to hear from you Ruth! I second it: You go, girl! xo Jennifer
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer! You've become one of my loudest cheerleaders! It's awesome. I'm going to make a point of stopping my your blog more <3
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Ruth
Thanks for your comment on my blog, great to hear that things are going well for you.
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Wyrna
it's great that you are being found, it takes determination and courage to change habits ..good luck on your journey :)
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Marisa
We're all rooting for you. I know the day will come when you'll tell us you have broken through to the other side. You can do this!
ReplyDeletehugs♥,
Caroline
Hello Ruth, Great to hear from you and that you are hanging in there and made a profit. I hope the best for you and I want you to know that every time I think of you I say a little prayer for you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Felma